Bikes, cars, and the idiots who pilot each.

First and foremost, I'd like to apologize to Paul. Paul Zelewsky was hit on Jewell Road about two weeks ago, while riding solo.

Tonight, he was hit while riding with me. Not knocked over, but clipped in a noticeable manner. Now, why would I apologize for something like this? Because my actions prevented him from giving two idiots what they rightly deserved: a visit from the DuPage County Sheriff and Wheaton P.D.

Paul and I were coming back from the group ride that meets up at Bartlett High School. We had just crossed Winfield Road, right next to CDH (Central DuPage Hospital) when a horn behind us started blaring, and someone started yelling out of a window. They then proceeded to buzz us, a bit too close for comfort. Paul and I answered this with the usual "Fuck yourself!". Usually some punk teenagers will laugh this off and keep driving.

Well, the two people in the white minivan apparently took offense to this, and did not see this as an eye for an eye sort of thing. Apparently my language in exchange for their driving was not a fair trade. The driver locked up the brakes, and started yelling. Paul and I yelled right back. We then passed him, and he accelerated right into Paul's path, clipping Paul's front wheel.

Most who know me know that I'm a pretty calm, laid back individual. A little animated at times, but nothing too over the top. Well, I lost it. Death threats, curses, and descriptions of sexual preferences I'm ashamed to have used in a derogatory manner flew out of my mouth like snot has been out of my nose for the last two weeks.

At the light at County Farm and Jewell, I demanded that they get out of the car. Normally I'm pretty rational and logical. They could very well have had a gun, knife, or tire iron in that minivan. None of this crossed my mind, sadly. I just wanted to teach some bastard a lesson. Primarily, that even though I'm dressed in lycra and riding a bike, that doesn't mean that you can ASSAULT someone and expect to get away with it. Particularly if you do it intentionally, with a deadly weapon.

Well, they denied my request. They did, however, stop about 200m down the road on Jewell, just east of County Farm Road. I proceeded to get off my bike, set it down in the grass on the side of the road, and scream/explain the rules of the road to these idiots. The driver, the more aggressive of the two, said that we didn't have any right to do what we were doing. I less-than-calmly explained that yes, we did in fact have the right to ride two abreast, and that he should have passed us like he would another slow moving vehicle. Would he do the same thing to a grandmother in her car going 25mph? Would he do the same thing to two grandmothers riding Schwinns carrying puppies on bar mounted baskets? No and no.

And now, for the bad part. Well, kind of bad. They left. Unfortunately, because of the death threats that I lobbed their way during my temporary bout of instability, both Paul and I didn't think that it would be wise to call the police and/or Sheriff. The worst part about it, though, is that there are now two idiots, if not more (idiots can get married, and reproduce) who now have a less than positive opinion of cyclists.

I hope that I don't put anyone in harm's way because of my actions. Really.