After discussing this sort of thing to death on various internet sites/forums, and hearing from one Andrew Coggan on the matter, I've determined that I'm going to head out to them thar hills of eastern Tennessee and western North Carolina over the Memorial Day weekend, if allowed.
Hopefully, Uncle Sam and the Evil Empire, in the form of the IRS/George Bush and my insurance agency, respectively, will collaborate enough to send me the money to purchase my new mountain bike before I depart on this journey.
The goal of the trip is to get the hell out of town for 4 or 5 days, and see a part of the world that fascinates and scares me. The Blue Ridge and Great Smoky Mountains being the former, local denizens of said hills, a la "Deliverance", being the latter. The other goal is to ride my road bike for about 20min, in a vigorous manner, up one of said mountains, recording such metrics as power and cadence whilst going skywards. I have an idea of what sort of number I'd like to see with an "avg." next to it, but, at the time being, I'd rather not advertise that. I don't post graphs, I'm not throwing out daily workouts. If I could ride my bike hard, for an hour a week, and cruise the other 10-20, I'd do that in a heartbeat.
After cooling down from the effort, which will basically be the <10min descent, I plan on locking my road bike inside my car, hopping on the MTB, and getting lost on the trails for hours at a time. Learning how to ride my new bike, in a fast and efficient manner, in terrain that will demand this of me.
Upon re-reading this post for correctness, it's ironic that, for the first time in my life, the only things keeping me from actually doing this are beyond my control. I have a car, I have money for gas and food. I'm just waiting on the Gov and the EE to get their shit together, and throw me a bone. Or bones, in the financial way.
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